Wednesday, February 27, 2008

'Bike Everyday!' Tom Blanchard's MFA Show

This Tuesday I rode the bus thirty two miles to Claremont Graduate University to be a spectator at Tom Blanchard's MFA show titled 'Bike Everyday!' Little did I know that I, or my bicycle, would become part of the spectacle. His conceptual art piece was our bicycles collectively parked for display in an empty gallery with a golden alarm clock on the floor in the middle of the room. We were informed of a choreographed plan when the alarm clock rang, but until then it was the standard socializing and consumption of frosted meat cakes, vegan cheese dip, salsa and tortilla chips, Cap 'n Crunch cereal, and sour licorice candies.

With all the bicycles in the room, it was becoming inevitable that I would decide to ride one, so I chose the folding bicycle, strategically parked next to the alarm clock. I managed a haphazard and squirrely ride through the crowd and the building's galleries. Another activity popped into my head as I noticed the fortuitous echoes produced in the gallery and attempted to slowly start a musical jam session. I rhythmically banged together two empty soda cans and screamed the words 'Dan-cing, on the floor!' People left the scene at first but then suddenly we became the new spectacle and the crowd grew. People began dancing and screaming through mega-phones, while percussive sounds were being created by helmets and stomping feet. It's easy to get lost in a moment such as this, but I do remember a huge camera being shoved near my face several times and beer splashing all over my arms and on the floor.

And finally the golden alarm clock went off at 8pm and signaled our departure thirty two miles back west, toward downtown Los Angeles, leaving empty the once bicycle filled gallery.

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(Photo courtesy of mr. rollers)

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Chinese Mom's Rule #1

'Never arrive empty handed when you're a guest in someone's home.'
Chinese mom rating of importance = 9

This used to be an extremely embarrassing policy to follow, because at the time, being young and rebellious in a 1990's kid kind of way, it just wasn't cool to bring the proceeding items on the list below, to a friend's home. Chinese mom always say: 'You have no option!'

List of items:
1. huge watermelon
2. cases of soda
3. bag of fortune cookies
4. box of cereal
5. juice (two cartons if it's a two for one sale)
6. left over home cooked Chinese food
7. spanikopita
8. melons of any kind
9. bag of oranges
10. box of 'price club' pastries
11. toilet paper
12. box of chicken in a biscuit, ritz, or cheez-itz crackers
13. frozen juice

I've since realized that it's a great rule, and find it extremely difficult to show up empty handed.

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